Oh · La · La

So this night.....we had even MORE access. No costumes... instead we turned on the blow up obstacle course ( see below ) we also got to turn on and use this jump thing ( see below ) we did so many flips and crazy crap in the air it was amazing! A couple of drunk neihbors of the park showed up and we thought they were gunna call the cops but then we realized they were drunk and all they wanted to do was join in...so they did haha it was awesome. Oh my gosh so many things were SO close to going wrong but we all made it through it was the last night and it was AMMAAZZINNGG!

oh and we found a wheelchair. haha

So my brother got a job from church working a grave yard security shift...yea.. such a bad idea. we have access to a golf cart. which we already broke because max ran garrett over and he flew threw the windshield and it was amazing... we also had fireworks.. so so bad i mean HUGE illegal fireworks. Played the best hide and go seek of my life because the seeker was on the golf cart. Oh and its security for this like play 4th of july thing that my church puts on.. yeah...we had free range of all the costumes. I was a monkey...

Oh and it was Max's birthday soo me and chris made him a little something special...

its those hours of the morning/night when im awake and begin to start feeling blue again. I miss my friends...They arent even gone really but I wish they were all with me right now. Cause then we could laugh and poke fun and drink root beer? I actually bought root beer for the first time. I dont often drink rootbeer but I saw it and was like woa I gotta have this! And now everytime I drink it I am severley satisfied with its refreshing taste and smoothness. good times. I actually havnt felt depressed in a while this is good news. I was getting really sick of having real high highs and real low lows. now its just mostly happy and im only sad when i truly need to be. I went swimming tonight! Finally! It was amazing and the most amazing part was that my self confidence wasnt as low as i thought it would be in my bathing suit. I actually felt....attractive..woa strange thought. I didnt feel fat..i did feel pale but ive accepted my paleness. I was nervous about my hair being slicked back..ive almost forgotten what i look like without bangs. oh bangs how i love thee.
Im glad ive revived this journal its nice to type my thoughts out it reminds me of highschool and I put this old Thursday song on my myspace page and everytime i hear it i am 16 again because i listened to that white album i swear everyday when i was 16 and it just brings back a lot of good feelings and bad ones of that stupid boy who broke my 16 year old heart who i still think about but not in a missing fashion in a ill punch you in the face fashion. haha. Ive only gotten my heart broken once and it was by that kid and oh my gosh he broke it bad. i think what broke it the most is that he could care less and even today still cares less. i mean so do i but thats what really hurt now that I think of it. Anyway new subject. I started another livejournal.. Im not going to add any friends on it though or give out the name.
Tomorrow i have to pack up my entire room and move out of this fantastic house where i got treated better that i deserved and that saddens me but i really miss downtown antioch and warm summer nights sitting like 5ft away from the train track on the edge of the wall and watching the trains fly by and covering my ears from the screaming and then trying to find our smashed coins in the dark but usually never finding them and even when we do we're over it in about 2 minutes if not less.
I had this wierd thought today while driving i wondered what it would be like if i were totally coked out and pretty much homeless and i just slept around with all these dudes and then i was known as the coked out lady who sleeps with anyone and then some kid could visit whatever town im in and go home and tell a story about how in this town he went to there was this really coked out lady who was known for sleeping around and she didnt even care it was just the way she lived her life and i got to meet her and she was crazy. haha my mind is insane ive got such a wild imagination,
But I think what it really is, is that I just want people to remember me. I want people to go back home with fond memories of me and tell friends about me and a happy feeling i gave them. I want to leave something behind like a t-shirt or a note and when they find it they smile cause its me and it smells like me and reminds them of me and that makes them happy. I want people to feel that way for me, That just might only be in the movies though but I dont think so cause I know I often feel that for others. im such a sucker for movies. I always try and make my life like a movie. like oh if I do this itll be so like a movie if they react this way. So i do my part the only problem is people dont usually react the way i want them too because we're not in a movie ha.

i put on russian dance music..took off my pants and created this

i have no idea what it means

I just realized something about my self. At the age of 19 I help feed and educate a little girl in haiti, donate money every month to environmental California, work for free at kids camp for abused and neglected children, donated money to the hurricane, and donate money to my works emergency fund for any employee that needs help. Im not boasting, just proud that my parents raised me to want to help others and thankful that ive been blessed with the supplies to do so. I hope I stay like this for the rest of my life.

Dear friend,

The national ban on military-style assault weapons will expire on Monday, September 13th, unless President Bush and Congress act now. President Bush promised to renew the ban, but instead he's letting it expire -- he has refused to call on Congress to deliver it for his signature.

For 10 years the assault weapons ban has taken the deadliest weapons off our streets, cutting their use in crimes 66 percent. But beginning Tuesday the 14th, an 18-year-old will once again be able to buy an AK-47 assault rifle in most states.

We can stop this if we speak up now. President Bush and Congress must renew the assault weapons ban, not let it expire. Please join me in demanding it, at:

http://www.moveon.org/savetheban/

La pluie tombera, et ainsi la volonté I que les usines mourront, et ainsi volonté je j'ai un ans avec la terre, nous suis le même je suis une partie de la nature qui est rejetée par la société je ne sais pas ce qui ce des moyens

Friends only from now on.

..until Valentines day! Ugh i am excited..well besides that Josh is suggesting beni-hanna's for din din. I rather not go there for valentines day..how un-romantic of a place to go. I want to drive into San Francisco and get all dressed up in my un-worn polka dot dress and do my hair in curls and put on red lipstick and dark eye shadow and feel hott! If i dressed like that and went to Beni-hannas ( i dont think I even spelled it right haha whatev) I would look like a nerd x 200.
I bought him something today for Valentines but I need something else to go with it.. ehh.. buying gifts is such a difficult thing but it feels so good.
It is such a beautiful day out right now! Minus the wind it would be perfect. I just feel so happy right now. Thanks God for the amazing world youve blessed us with.
I had such an amazing weekend! Went to Tahoe with friends and I just want to pee my pants laughing everything I think about what fun we had. We went snowboarding on sat and dang I have gotten so good! I landed every freakin jump besides one and that was my only fall the entire day. I cant wait until I learn rails and boxes and grabs. I would marry my snowboard if I could. We hung out in the casinos on South shore until midnight it was so fun haha there was this live band and Dolorus and Tessa danced and I just laughed at this one really wasted lady with no rythm dancing the whole night and the band that was playing was so adorable I wanted to hug them.
It was funny the Inn we stayed at was not that nice but it had a hot tub and Brian another Briand and Jesse met up with us and the room was meant for only two people and we had seven haha but only 3 slept in it. It was funny though cause there were like 4 people on our balcony being loud and like 3 of us in the hot tub.. if the manager walked out he would have killed us haha whatev it was great.
I cant wait until next weekend.
I <3 Josh he is my best friend.

Ugh...
I want to go skateboarding and no one has a skateboard for me to use and that makes me mad.
I have a lot of homework to do and i need to get it done so I come online and I just go straight to livejournal and forget about my homework! This journal is crack for internet nerds.
I swear everytime Ive seen Josh in the past like week 1/2 he has always been in pajamas, messy hair, slippers and hasnt showered. Its like.. everytime I go over there I am dressed, look nice and well put together, he doesnt even try to impress me anymore. Everytime before I see him I want to look my best. Its just such a turn off sometimes.
Maybe i shouldnt even make a deal out of it, i should love him no matter what he looks like i suppose.
My aunt asked me today who he was again cause he met him at my work when she came into eat and she said he is very handsome. And he is handsome. He's tall dark and handsome. I love him but its like atleast try to impress me, make me feel like you actually care when i am around you.
Whatev. I am gunna go hang out with Drew so i am out.
Everything is so annoying today.

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	Sleep Apnea Woman
Super Power	Ability To Fly
Enemy	Michael Jackson
Mode Of Transportation	Cadillac With Rims
Weapon	Vinyl Records
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Sat and Sun my first days of serving. Made $$115 the first night and $$103 the second night. dizzang. I be rich!
Bling Bling.

This semester is going to be hard. A lot of papers, but a lot of art work which will be fun but there will be A LOT.
Art5LS-Art history
English21
Intro to Photoshop
Intro to Illustrator
Graphic Design
Advances Graphic Design

I want to major in Art for sure. And maybe become an art teacher. I mean I would love to teach senior classes in highschool and just encourage those kids that they can do so much more and just treat them like a human-being unlike so many teachers do.

I want to go to S.Cali.

First weekend of Feb. Off to the snow for three straight days of snowboarding!!!! I hope there is snowboarding in heavan.

I have to do a lot of reading tonight and I really need to clean my room.

I am getting my hair cut on Monday. At 2:30. Cut and dyed. I am gunna go daarrrkkkkk.

I have the worlds best boyfriend.